Living alongside another person is obviously one of the hardest things we can ever attempt. Therapy helps couples who have conflicting points of view on the same experiences, where one or both partners are distressed. There are a number of vital things that you might learn in couples’ therapy.

For a start, in a quiet room you get to fully understand and define what the relationship problems really are. This is without things escalating to shouting, sulking or avoidance. We are normally too upset, cross or angry to be able to share with our partner what we are so angry or upset about. It therefore helps to be in front of a trained therapist that can assist in helping couples communicate. Secondly, the Couple’s Therapist is skilled at drawing out from you why certain things might be bothering you. Couples can find it hard to unearth the emotional meanings behind our positions or our choices. Therapy provides clarity on this. Lastly, the Couples Therapist aims to break up unconscious repeated patterns of upset and retaliation. In the process of resolving dilemmas, partners learn to have compassion for their partner and themselves, learn ways of constructively managing their own negative feelings, and rekindle the feelings that originally attracted them to each other.

Couples Therapy utilises a variety of approaches similar to individual therapy. These include Systemic Therapy, CBT or Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT). The amount of sessions required depends on the needs of the couple and the approach utilised. The average duration of couple’s therapy is 12 sessions.

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